Witty Put-Downs: 21 Hilarious Times Insults Had Class
How do you take the high road... and still get your point across?
These witty put-downs might be your answer. Which one is your favourite?
Witty Put-Downs from Famous Folk
- George Bernard Shaw wrote to William Churchill: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
- Churchill wrote back, "Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Max
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - William Churchill again
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without an address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson *
** For history fans, a little trivia for you**
Johnson was also a hero in the 1700s for creating an extensive dictionary that we still model our modern day dictionaries on today. However, his approach was noteworthy for several reasons:
- He started off strong, with extensive definitions for each word... but these got shorter and shorter, until they were incredibly brief by the end of the book.
- Sometimes he would simply say record that he didn't know what a word meant, and move on.
- He omitted words he didn't like.
- He also gave examples of authors he felt had used the words incorrectly.
Funny (but Relatable) Nicknames for Colleagues
Don't go calling your colleagues any of these, but do share if you see yourself in any of them!
- Motion Light - only works when someone walks past
- Houdini - always disappearing, especially when you need them
- Star Tech - the no.1 I.T. person
- KitKat - always taking a break
- Justin - does justinuff not to get fired
- E.T. - just wants to go home
- Wheelbarrow - only works when pushed
- Deck Chair - folds under pressure
- Lantern - not very bright and needs to be carried
- Pothole - everyone tries to avoid them
- Shania - doesn't impress you much
- Cordless - Works for two hours; needs eight hours to recharge
- Tolkien - writes really long emails
- Mastercard - takes credit for other people's work
Final Thoughts
We would like to take this opportunity to point out that we don't think it is ever a good idea to be rude to someone. Setting boundaries is healthy, and can be done constructively. And, if that fails, maybe you can think of these one-liners and smile to yourself!
For more on setting healthy boundaries, we recommend this in-depth guide.
We've posted these quotes on our Verselo Pinterest page so you can save aesthetic versions of your favourites.
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