Men's Mental Health: 1 Important Message (Hobbies and Interests Series)
'The Ride Outs' Crew
Welcome back to our Hobbies and Interests series.
Finally, the media is starting to shine a spotlight on men’s mental health, as studies have found men are less likely than women to seek help or treatment. This blog post is about a conversation we had with a colleague about how he has developed existing, and formed new, friendships due to a shared interest in motorbikes, and the resulting, positive effect on mental health.
He said he always felt it seemed easier for women to find excuses to meet up; a chat over a coffee would be enough. As his friends all live a fair distance from each other, and could never find one day they were all free, he would only meet up with the same few, individually.
As he grew older and wiser, riding a motorbike was about enjoying the ride, rather than riding faster than your mates. He and a close friend re-discovered their love for riding and decided to meet up as often as they could. Then a whatsapp group chat was formed.
What started out as a little group chat between close friends, used to desperately find one day they were all free, extended widely as existing friends introduced new friends. “Someone will text to say they’ll be going out on Sunday, and a few others always text back. I’m still not over the novelty of that yet! An early Sunday Morning’s Ride Out became a given, and not only the usuals would attend.
“Us bikers are a friendly lot. You end up talking to someone new when you stop off for a coffee, and they let you know about biking events going on.”
On a dry day, the ride could be all the way to Wales. On more dismal days, the biker group stays local and heads to a bikers’ cafe. Our colleague said he found himself catching up with old school friends he hadn’t seen for more than twenty years, and becoming a better rider than he’d ever been, even compared to when he was younger and fearless.
In the summer, the group goes further and more frequently, inviting partners and other friends. In the winter, the motorbikes don’t even get mentioned - replaced by a drink in a pub somewhere.
Making time in your life to meet up with friends is not just possible - our colleague managed it by substituting a Sunday lie-in with a ride - but vital. “I feel like I’ve been there for them in a way I wouldn't have been if we didn’t see each other so regularly. I’ve found out what a difficult time some of them had been having that I knew nothing about and I feel awful I wasn’t there sooner. I’m trying to be better, and let them know I’ll always be around to listen or take their mind off it - whatever they want.”
The Positive Impact on Mental Health
Making time in your life to meet up with friends is not just possible - our colleague managed it by substituting a Sunday lie-in with a ride - but vital. “I feel like I’ve been there for them in a way I wouldn't have been if we didn’t see each other so regularly. I’ve found out what a difficult time some of them had been having that I knew nothing about and I feel awful I wasn’t there sooner. I’m trying to be better, and let them know I’ll always be around to listen or take their mind off it - whatever they want.”
Final Thoughts
In the UK, 76% of suicides are by men and, frighteningly, suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 35. Mental health is a crucial aspect of overall well-being, and socialising with friends plays a significant role in maintaining good mental health. It can lead to stress reduction and improved mood due to available emotional support and reduced isolation.
Those who have strong social connections and regularly socialise with friends are less likely to develop mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
This is therefore a reminder to reach out to your friends and make time to see them.
If you are struggling with your mental health at the moment, remember you are not alone. Things inevitably get on top of all of us sometimes; reaching out makes all the difference.
If you would be more comfortable talking to a stranger (because it is easier sometimes, isn't it?) then we recommend the following organisations:
- Mind
- Andy Man's Club
- CALM - (Campaign Against Living Miserably) For online and telephone support.
- Male Voiced - Support for men with eating disorders
- Life Signs - Support for men who self-harm
- Men's Sheds - mainly men finding friendship and mutual support through common interests such as carpentry, gardening, car repairs or model making.
- Mankind - a confidential helpline for men in domestic abuse situations
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